what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
