I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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