Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
