i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
