My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
