We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
