For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
