so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
