I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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