its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
