i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
