Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and she was petting her beer can
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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