I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
