DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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