STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
