I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
