You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
