he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
