She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
not ubering you a puppy
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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