just tell him i said nine months
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
