I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
