your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
