There was a lot of him and a little penis
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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