Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
