So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
