This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
