you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
