if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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