i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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