Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
