so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
