UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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