Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
