The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
be right there i have to get my cape
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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