Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
