Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
