So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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