i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have tasted many bathrooms
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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