That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
