Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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