apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
