Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
