this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
