cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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