bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
