good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
