Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
