It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
