More tranny stories later!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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