so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
